So I know you probably clicked on this post, and the thought crossed your mind that, oh, well this is just going to be one of those funny, and slightly sarcastic lists filled with petty fears. And to be honest, there are a few silly fears of mine! But, I’m also going to be honest. I’m going to tell the truth, though that can be hard to do! Some things written are not things I would normally want to tell anyone, but you can’t tell only half of the truth. So, buckle up, this could be a bumpy ride!
P.S. The reason I didn’t add photos like I normally do is because I didn’t want to be looking at pictures of some of the things I fear most. To BE honest, some of these had me close to tears at reliving some well buried memories.
#1 Losing Loved Ones
As I’m sure many others have as well, I have lost my own share of close family members to accidents. When I was only 8 years old, a freak accident took one of my closest family members, since then I have been paranoid about something happening to those that I love the most. For a while I had a hard time riding in any type of vehicle or being around any heavy equipment because a machine was involved in the accident. It didn’t help when just recently two other family members died in a car accident and another (in the same car) almost died from the injuries. These accidents, and a few others have caused paranoia in my life that at times can be crippling.
#2 Disappointing Others
I feel like this fear in some sense can be seen as pride, then on the other hand, I truly HATE disappointing anyone. It tends to make me act differently around others, and become a shell of what I truly am. Any test I take, any recital I play in, any speech I say, I must do my best. I must be the best of the best. Anyone I’m around must only see a happy smile, they can’t think that I’m not perfect. Which if anyone reading this struggles with this as well, you know that all those hurtful things said that you just brush off, and smile at, because NO ONE can see you unhappy and imperfect, is going to either cry about into your pillow, or furiously write about it in your journal.
#3 No One Remembering Me
No. I don’t mean in a historical/famous way. I mean, no one CARING enough to remember me after I’m gone. No one LOVING me enough to care that I’m not there. I want my siblings to miss me. My spouse and/or children wish I was there with them. To be forgotten is a horrible thought, one that at times can make you want to never wake up.
#4 Spiders & Heights
These two are more on the silly side, but they are things I am terrified at. I can hardly climb on park equipment because of the heights… Yeah. And spiders aren’t any better. I still squeal in terror when I see Daddy-Long-Legs…
I just wanted to end this with saying that I did not write this with the intentions of garnering sympathy. I originally intended this to be slightly serious, but it turned out far more personal that I thought it would. Please don’t feel sorry for me, or assume that was what I wanted. I am just sharing a part of my life. Things that I fear. Things that make me want to hide. I would love to know things that you fear, if you are willing to share.
Large or small, all things are important to our Savior who loves and cares for his children.
DISCLAIMER – I DO NOT OWN THESE IMAGES